A:
Actually, LJ, it is your mother-in-law's business if/when you have a grandchild, because she'll be the child's grandmother – but it's not her decision. Herein lies the difficulty. Being a grandmother is something very special, and I can understand why your MIL longs for a grandchild. There's something so special about holding an infant in your arms...and for your MIL, the only way that will happen now is with a grandchild.
But she needs to understand that while she'll get the fun part of the child, you'll have the work and expense, so you can't act on it until the time is right. It's absolutely up to you and your husband when (or if) you have a child; she doesn't get a say in the decision. That's what makes it hard for her–it's something she wants so badly, and has absolutely no control over.
So the next time she asks you when you're going to have a baby, put your arm around her shoulders and say something like, “Mom, I know you're anxious to be a grandmother, and believe me, we're anxious to have a child of our own also. But we have to wait until the time is right, until we're ready emotionally and financially to bring a baby into the world. I promise, when that time comes, you'll be the first to know!” After that, she'll probably back off a bit. She just wants to hear from you that her concerns and her desires will be addressed, and are valued by you and your husband.
