Busting the Myth of Internet Romances
By
Bronté Miller
The age of old fashioned courting may be the stuff of romance novels, but it no longer rules the current dating game. Online dating is one of the fastest growing industries for the Internet. One online dating service has over two million users and claims to now be growing by two hundred and fifty members per month! That same service announced fifty marriages between members in the last year. In addition, the number of online dating services continues to grow.
There are many reasons for joining an online dating service. People look for dates most certainly, but others go for the online companionship. Services with instant messaging, both individually and as groups, tend to have a higher satisfaction rate than those that only offer pictures and profiles. People go into the instant messaging lobby or public chat rooms and make friends. People who have busy lives, hectic schedules and no time for socializing, can go home, relax, sit down with a cup of coffee or glass of wine, and party on the computer with online friends.
What are people looking for? The United Press International states in a March 18, 2004 issue that “The No. 1 choice for both male and female members of Date.com was personality, at 35%. The least important attribute was wealth — only 3%...” The article goes on to say that, “The second place choice for women was looks, at 22%, with honesty a close third at 21%. Looks also scored second for men with 23%, followed by honesty with 19%. Intelligence and sense of humor were favored by about 10% of both men and women.” The Cleveland Plain Dealer's Jan. 30, 2003 article entitled Seven Surefire Methods to Finding your Soul Mate states that “About 25% of singles are believed to be using online personals to get together.”
We followed a couple using the Date.com service. People have usernames and “Elmo” and “Tas” are well known members on the service. “Tas” had used online services before with both good, and not-so-good results. “I dated someone for about five months last year. He moved too far away for us to maintain the relationship. I was in California and he moved to Illinois.” However, when she met “Elmo” she re-thought the idea of long distance relationships. Elmo is from Kentucky. “I never thought it would be anything more than friendship and flirting. He was so funny and charming we ended up every night talking on the phone.” Two months later, the couple met face to face in Arizona where Elmo had gone for a convention. “I was so nervous to meet him. I mean, I had this idea of him in my head and I didn't want that ruined by meeting in person,” laughs Tas. “But, he was even better in person, and I knew I was in trouble. How could I let this guy go?” Two thousand, one hundred and eighteen miles between them, they decided to remain in contact through the online service. “Elmo invited me to watch a movie with him on Saturday night that week. We would both rent the movie and watch it at our homes together. But, instead I booked a flight to Kentucky to surprise him.”
Elmo started online dating this year. “I was looking for someone to have fun and hang out with originally. I had really intended to try to find a "pool" that I could choose from to see who I clicked with.” Elmo stated in his profile that he was only looking for something casual. Then, he met Tas. “I was as nervous as I'd ever been in my life. After two months more >>
